Remember

Posted on Wed Jan 5th, 2011 @ 6:41pm by Lieutenant Kiyraesyn Valdor

"Lieutenant Kiyraesyn Valdor's Personal Log. Stardate: Today:

There is an eerie memory I cannot seem to shake. In poetry from centuries past, I find the sound of voice.

For now, I am content. Ciaran is with me, all is well, but I am plagued by the ever-present, ever-persistent memory of that day back home, the day I thought I had lost her. The day I lost everyone I thought I could ever love. In looking through some of Earth's ancient poetry, I found something which shook me, and it is as follows:

Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you planned:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

This was written by Christina Rossetti, and while I'm sure I never met her, as I spent much of my early travelling years on the other side of the galaxy, there is a closeness between us. It takes me to a place in my mind that calms me as I think back and miss my family. Mother and Father, my cousins and dearest friends. For a long time, I felt this impinging sense of guilt if I ever, even be it for just a moment, forget them. But as I read this poem, I found myself at peace with what happened. In a way, she is right. It is better to forget and smile, to recapture any small ounce of contentment, than to dwell on the pain of loss and be lost to grief myself. And then, there is this wonderful knowledge that Ciaran is still alive, and that we have found each other again. What's more, she is happy with someone, and she approves of Eridani and I. I was so afraid she wouldn't understand. And yet, here we are. Reunited, and smiling.

End Personal Log."