Hats Off to the Colonel

Posted on Wed Aug 17th, 2011 @ 1:41pm by Lieutenant Commander Aral Aix & Lieutenant Colonel Anastasia DeVries & Lieutenant Xylia Lischka

Mission: Tomorrow's Arizona
Location: Bridge, Deck 1, USS Arizona
Timeline: Concurrent with 'Uneasy Alliance'

Aral Aix had remained on the bridge throughout the away team's departure. From the science station he had watched Cowell take his leave with a number of other senior officers. Although Aral had volunteered the Commodore had selected Senior Chief Neral to go in his place. As much regard as the Chief Science Officer had for Neral's professionalism and her career development he harbored reservations. Aral felt a sense of overwhelming responsibility; he was deeply conscious that he had set the Arizona on her collision course with the Guardian in the Solaria Nebula. Now the Commodore and his colleagues were risking their lives crawling about a Borg world in search of clues as to their way back home.

Suppressing feelings of impotence and guilt he checked the progress of his scans, ongoing. His terminal had lost all most the most superficial of functionality. In search of distraction he cast his eyes across the bridge, momentarily meeting those of Anastasia DeVries.

"Feeling like shit are you Commander?" the woman spoke up several minutes later as she eventually broke visual contact with the Trill. "Well... don't take it personally. Even if it was maybe just a tiny bit your fault." She turned her attention now instead to the hovering 'mother bee' figure of Todd Sweeney. "Toddrick... if you don't mind... I believe beverages are in order." She turned abruptly then, looking once again at the scientist. "Care to join me in a bit of afternoon tea?"

"I would love to." Aral replied, his manners forcing him to overlook the Colonel's compassionate barb. He was waiting on the lateral sensor array and analytical power of the secondary computer core. For the next hour, or until then next crisis he was about as useful as a Borg drone with a tea strainer for an arm attachment. "Vulcan spiced." He said in the direction of Todd Sweeney. "And some of those little salmon sandwiches they serve at Academy functions."

"The usual for you Colonel?" Todd inquired as he nodded in compliance with Aral - somehow transitioning into his position of waiter and chef de cuisine almost instantaneously.

Stace nodded as she tugged ceremoniously on her uniform jacket. "Yes. Scones, marmalade and cream. And do not skimp! Or else." She paused as if she was forgetting something. "Oh yes! We will undoubtedly need our tea hats. Fetch them for us would you?"

Todd lowered his head and sighed. "Of course..."

Lieutenant Xylia Lischka entered the bridge with the intent of taking over at the Security console once again. The away team departed only moments ago, and she suddenly felt herself feeling sorry for those going on it. The Lieutenant hadn't missed one away mission since coming on board the Arizona, but this was one she wasn't going to volunteer for. It was the Borg, after all, and she didn't mess around with them. "Tea hats? What in the world did I walk in on?"

"I used to have a marvelous collection of hats when I was a woman." Aral mentioned rather absent mindedly as he relocated himself from the useless science console to the vacant first officer's chair.

Xylia settled down on the chair nearest to Stace and Aral. "So, are we talking about hats or that you were once a woman?"

"I was a woman once too," the marine confirmed as she glanced around for the fleeting figure of Sweeney. "However, those days are long behind us... right!?"

Aral shrugged and crossed his legs in the fashion of a woman. "You know, I don't miss much about it, just the shopping really." He remembered how he once spent an hour trying on ladies hats in Harrods the year after he started at the Academy. After that incident his Counselling sessions were doubled. He paused to change tack. "You have got your Sweeney well trained Colonel."

"I'm not so sure it's good training. He just knows better." Xylia stated. "The same could be said for Chet and Helga as well. Interesting pair right there."

The Colonel grinned with pride at the mention of her three workhorses. "Many years of my tutelage have made them the fine... fine officers they are today." There was a break in the conversation when the doors to the turbolift suddenly rushed open and the aforementioned figures of Todd and Chet came barreling onto the bridge - large oversized boxes in hand. "And the hats have arrived!!!"

Aral adjusted himself in his chair as he received a hat box from Chet McChet. "I quite agree Colonel. I'm sure we have a future Starship Captain and Master Chief Petty Officer in our presence." He spoke with a believable level of sincerity as he flipped the lid from the box that was on his lap and tried to suppress his girlish excitement behind a mischievous smile.

Lischka breathed a sigh of relief. She came in after the discussion of tea hats had taken place, so perhaps she would be safe from having to wear one of them. "Right, well, it seems that the two of you have plans, so I'm just going to take my leave now. Enjoy yourselves."

"I don't think so Lieutenant. Believe me when I say that I always have spares... for just these rare occasions when we have guests! So sit down, wear your hat and drink your goddamn tea. Speaking of tea... where is the tea!???????"

Todd nearly choked on his own breath and he quickly shoved an additional box onto the lap of the Chief of Security and the Executive Officer before scurrying off. "Coming coming!!"

"Tisk... sometimes I do worry though..." Stace lamented.

Aral turned to look at the Colonel who was resplendent in an impressive hat. "Oh my Colonel, you are a vision." Were he at liberty to move he would have taken several steps backwards to allow himself to take in the imposing sight that was the Executive Officer in her tea hat.

"You know Commander... I happen to tell myself that every morning when I awake... I'm so thankful for your verification," Stace responded sincerely. "I always say you should take the time to indulge in the finer things of life."

Aral extracted an impressively sized woman's hat from the box and placed it on his head. It was cerulean and possessed a mixture of synthetic flowers and netting that dipped over his left eye. "How do I look?"

"Marvelous! Simply marvelous! Ohhhh how I've longed for a simple afternoon tea! It's been so long since the last time," the woman lamented. "Perhaps the Commodore would be so kind to join us next time. What do you think?"

"I don't think he has the bone structure for a hat of this... caliber." Aral replied pouring himself a cup of Vulcan spiced tea and setting it on the armrest of his chair. "There's no chance one of your people can play piano is there?"

She mulled the question over for a few seconds before rising up from her seat - adjusting her hat, of course - and making headway towards the console where the very frightened form of Lieutenant Marion sat still as stone. "Lizzie darling... I do believe I recall you being able to play a bit on the organ... would you be a doll and offer us up a performance?"

"Um... I'm not sure the Commodore would allow such... entertainment on the bridge... Colonel," the woman tried to object - not really sure what the hell was going on.

Stace waved her hand away in retort. "Nonsense. He would want us to be relaxed, refreshed and refocused by time he returned from his own little party. This is how we do this. So... get a hustling now! We haven't got all day."

Under silent protest Lieutenant Marion began to play an up tempo jazz waltz on her console, having reconfigured it to resemble an electric piano. Aral Aix got to his feat - steadying his hat as he did so - and extended his hand to Anastasia DeVries. "Would you care to dance Colonel?"

"I do indeed love to dance!" Stace elated as she reached for and accepted the hand. "You certainly are full of talents aren't you?"

Aral smiled demurely beneath his hat and led the Colonel into a waltz, taking her by the hand and lower waist with each hand. "You pick up a few tricks when you get to my age." They began a brief turn of the bridge, their architectural marvels of hats wobbling precariously on their heads.

Oh what a beautiful day it was turning out to be! "I'm beginning to wonder if the day could get any more perfect!!" And it was then that she turned her attention back towards the other woman who was 'recruited' into their party. Stace frowned.

Xylia looked into the opened box on her lap and blinked. The hat inside was gaudy to say the least. Fuchsia. Of all the colors in the world, it was fuchsia. There was absolutely no way she was donning the monstrosity that was settled within the confines of the floral hat box. Now she was beginning to think that both the Colonel and Commander were completely off their rockers. Settling the box off to the side, Xylia turned toward whatever console she happened to be sitting at and studied it. Yes, she'd drink her goddamn tea, but she wouldn't wear the goddamn hat.

"Is there a problem with your spherical head attire Lieutenant?" the marine inquired with a sharp tone in her voice. "If you are unsure of how to properly wear the hat, I will have good man Toddrick here walk you through the process. You simply cannot be turning down... the aspects of afternoon tea..." she continued, her eyebrows arching almost psychotically.

"No, Colonel, I'm well aware of how to properly wear a hat. You put it on your head." Lischka stated, a sharp tone to her own voice. She didn't want to wear the thing, but given that she had to remain on the bridge to man her station, it appeared she didn't have a choice in the matter. With a sigh, she reached into the box, wondering why Marion and the others weren't disgraced with wearing them, then placed the hat on top of her head. Fuchsia. It clashed with the yellow and made her eyes worse, but that wasn't the worst of it. It was a huge bow settled on top of her easily twice the size of her head. She said nothing.

Aral nodded approvingly, admiring the spectacle that was the Chief of Security. "Now that is sex appeal." He said it sincerely, although the corners of his mouth were turned up in a sarcastic smile. He was careful to whisk the Colonel away on a brief turn about the bridge and, momentarily, well out of Xylia's verbal or physical research.

"Sure, sure." The Chief of Security said, waving her hand dismissively. She climbed to her feet with the gaudy headpiece and headed toward the Tactical station. She almost expected the damn hat to start rotating given that it was the size of a helicopter propeller. That would be a sight to see. Her flying around the Bridge thanks to her hat.

Sensing the Lieutenant's frustration, Stace knew of only one way to perhaps cheer her up. "Toddrick! Chetters! Conduct an exact head count of all those present on the bridge at this moment and for the duration of this shift. I need hats for all. Appropriate ones of course that fall within the perimeters and guidelines of afternoon tea wardrobe."

"Right away!" they mutter in hushed unison - as if they had strangely enough experienced this scenario before.

Eying Aral, the Colonel grinned. "So far I think the afternoon has been rather successful."

"The Arizona's finest hour sir." He replied with a raised eyebrow as he spun the her around through a final turn before ending their embrace with a polite bow.

Stace nodded. "I concur!! It was history book worthy, that is certain!!" Regathering her composure, the Executive Officer cleared her throat and took to glancing around the bridge. "I wish to express thanks to all those who participated in this leisurely event! However, now we must be returning to our regularly scheduled programming... but in order to help us with the burden of mundane work, we shall be enjoying the wonderful delights of our festive attire for just a while longer! Those who missed out on dress up will be receiving your own cultural work of art from Toddrick and Chetters. Let us have an amazing day!"

"Poor bastards." The Lieutenant muttered under her breath. She kept her eyes locked on the console in front of her.

Stace frowned a bit at the words but fought to keep her cheery expression intact! How she couldn't wait for the Commodore's return! She even had a hat for him.