Karma Will Be a Bitch!

Posted on Tue Mar 8th, 2011 @ 4:44pm by Lieutenant Colonel Anastasia DeVries & Lieutenant Xylia Lischka

Mission: Shore Leave 1: Pacifica
Location: Various
Timeline: Various

[Beach]
[Pacifica]
[shortly after "It's On!"]

Exiting the sand covered shores, her young deputy in tow, Stace S. DeVries wondered briefly if the Captain was even on board the Arizona. There was only one way to find out. Motioning for Xylia to hold up, Stace carefully balanced the bottle of whiskey as she fished inside her pants for her comm badge. Finally finding it twisted among the fabric of the pockets, Stace swiftly put through a call to Sweeney.

"Where's Crusty?"

There was an undeniable sigh in the Petty Officer's voice. "The Captain is currently somewhere on the surface no doubt enjoying far forgotten past times of legend."

"Well can't you push some buttons and locate the man?! I haven't got all day here," Stace muttered with a look in the direction of the other woman.

There was some static and some shuffling before Todd's voice once again filtered over the air. "His signal seems to be coming from a hotel plaza... about two miles from your location."

"Jolly good! Lieutenant Lischka will be returning to the ship shortly... stand by," Stace retorted before ending transmission and turning to the brunette. "Alright, here's the plan. I'm going to go fetch the Captain and make sure he returns to the ship... you, on the other hand, need to get back and commandeer one of the holodecks without drawing attention to yourself. We need this to go as perfect as we can! Once you have control of it, you know what to do. Set the environment and have it waiting... then join me at the predetermined coordinates. We good? Good. Let's do it."


[Arizona]

Xylia stepped off of the transporter, muttering about having forgotten something in her quarters. She shook her head as she walked out of the transporter room. The look on her face was one of pure annoyance, causing the few people in the corridors to ignore her completely. The beauty of this situation, most of the ships occupants were on the surface, so it would be fairly easy to get away with what she had to do. And the fact that she was plied with alcohol made her nerves non-existent.

Instead of going to her quarters, she hung a left being as discreet and sneaky as possible. Before slipping inside, she gave one final look around and moved through the doors. "Glorious, glorious holodeck. You will now do my bidding." She moved over to the console and began to hit a few of the buttons, watching as the scene in her mind came to life around her. She couldn't help but grin. This was going to be so much fun.

Behind her, at least fifty naked midgets appeared in a huge mud pit while a single, five hundred pound naked man wearing clown makeup and held a micro phone all the while belting out Marvin Gaye's Let's Get It On. The room began to appear... It was a classic harem style room with a huge round bed laying dead center of the hologram.

Xylia giggled and peeked around the corner carefully when she was done with the programing. She didn't want to get caught. She smoothed a hand over the front of her jeans. Camouflage wasn't really necessary for the current task at hand, but it just made everything much more fun. Holding a hand up and extending a her thumb and forefinger as if it were a gun, she did a front somersault across the entrance of the hall until she got to the other side. For a moment, she felt like she was back in training, but they would never have let her get away with anything like this.

After taking another look down the hall, she held her 'gun hand' up once again and walked away like nothing had happened. What was to come would go down in history, and it wouldn't be long before the entire ship heard about it. Her only hope now, or when it was done rather, would be her ability to fake innocence and make it believable.


[Pacifica]


Captain Nathan Cowell sat in the main lobby of the resort. It had been an interesting day, even if it wasn't overly relaxing since it was filled with business more than it wasn't. His only consolation was the never-ending supply of alcoholic beverages that flowed from the bar in the lobby. Nathan had flopped down in a rather comfortable seat and had taken up people watching, more for lack of anything better to do than out of any real desire to do it. It was, however, nice to see people come and go without them stopping to stare at him or even know who he was. At least that part of things was vaction-like...

Entering through the massive doors that gave entrance to the rather elaborate hotel establishment Stace turned her attention towards the area with the oldest looking population. She had no doubt in her mind that it would contain the man in question. Wading through the stuffy crowds she eventually came across an old fashioned bar area and just as suspected the Captain sat perched - a beverage in hand.

"Oh!! Fancy meeting you here!" Stace feigned surprise as she knocked a nearby man from his seat in order to take it from him. "Enjoying your time off?"

"Only until someone comes up to me and starts talking business..." Nathan remarked, looking up at the woman through less than amused eyes.

Stace laughed at the thought of conducting business at such an hour and brought forth her own bottle of whiskey. "Who said anything about that? I thought we were all here to have a good time."

"That was the idea," Nathan shrugged, "Where'd you steal that?"

Looking down at the contraband from Pip's stash, Stace beamed with glee. "Ohhhh! I took it from the last bar I was at. You didn't think I would actually travel without something to drink did you?"

"Looks like you don't," Nathan agreed, "Is it a good vintage, or some cheap crap?"

Stace looked hurt at the suggestion. Cheap? Her? "Do I look like I would partake in cheap crap as you put it? I will have you know I'm 100% vintage."

"Good," Nathan said, "Pour me a glass then."

It was all the invitation the red head needed. Motioning for the hotel barkeep to relinquish a glass into her possession, Stace placed it upon the bar and popped the top off her sacred bottle, holding it close for just a moment before pouring the man a sample taste. Yes. This was going to be glorious.

Nathan sloshed the glass around for a minute before finally taking a drink. It didn't taste half bad.

"Not bad at all..." the El-Aurian said.

Stace grinned and slapped her hand across the man's shoulders. "That's the spirit old timer! Go on! Have some more... I do have plenty!"

Nathan gave the woman a weary glance, "You're being overly generous... Any particular occasion?"

"It's shoreleave you old fuck," Stace reminded as if he was from another planet... which strangely enough he was... but alas. "What's the point of having fun if you don't actually have any? Do you realize what it normally takes for me to so much as let someone else look at my booze let alone actually drink it? So you will shusha your mouth and have another glass," she commanded as she began to pour.

"I don't know if I like your tone... But I do like the booze... so we'll let that one slide..." Nathan decided she was at least sincere in her desire to share the hooch if nothing else.

Making herself more comfortable in her own seat, Stace gave the Captain a thoughtful glance over as she charmingly shoved more of the drug laced whiskey down his throat. She had lucked out by finding the Orion prostitute out on the hotel corner exchanging black market items in turn for particular favors. Just what favor she ended up trading was one she thought she would never share... but having the drug was far more important in order to concoct her master plan. She'd have the man rolling over like putty in her hand before he knew what hit him.

"You know... you're not that bad looking for someone who's older than the last star system we blew through," she complimented as she waved the barkeep over. "Antarean brandy... keep em coming."

"And you're not so bad looking yourself, even if you do have a habit of killing off your husbands..." Doc Cowell countered, imbibing more of the liquid.

Stace frowned a bit at the statement. Though she would be hard pressed to admit it in public, the subject of her marriage was a painful one. However, she knew the Captain was old, crusty and druggedly drunk... so she could forgive. "If it pleases you, you could be next."

"Tried it once... got a divorce over the military... Don't think it would work out, kiddo. I'll stick to hooch," Nathan said, taking yet another drink.

The woman finished her second brandy and started the third before scooting over closer. "Ohhhh... you never know! You haven't even tried!"

Nathan was sure she had said that loudly, but tones were starting to get dim and fuzzy...

"Damn, this is some good hooch..." Doc Cowell said.

Stace nodded and wrapped her arm tightly around his shoulders. "Reeeeal good isn't it? Almost so good you might just... loose your mind."

"Like I haven't done that before..." Nathan scoffed.

The Major chucked lightly and began to rub her hand in small circles along his back. "I'm sure there's not much you haven't done. In the meantime... what say me and you blow this popsicle stand?"

"Sure... but I think you're going to have to help me up... I don't think I can stand..." Nathan said, realizing his legs weren't cooperating.

Stace's smile grew wider as she realized the drugs were starting to take effect. First his limbs would start to resemble jello. Next this senses would come a complete and utter blur. "Don't worry dear Captain... I will take excellent care of you! You can always trust me."

Pulling herself to her own feet, Stace extended a hand to Nathan and with a quick yank managed to get him on his own feet just long enough for her to bend down and heft him over her own shoulders. There was something bizarre about the fact she was carrying her commanding officer like a sack of potatoes... but considering it wasn't the first time she didn't think too much about the strange looks she was receiving from the others within the lobby. Instead she continued on her walk right through those massive doors.

"Sweeney... I'm in a bit of a rush here," Stace announced through her comm badge. "Beam me up and do it pronto."


[Arizona]


Xylia waited at the rendezvous point. She had been here for five minutes and not a single person came by. Right now, she was pacing the floor like a caged tiger, but she did stop by her quarters on the way to grab a bottle of whiskey.

Liquid courage. Or something to cure the nerves when her buzz started to wear off.

She glanced down the hallway in both directions and leaned against the wall. Who would question her if they found her here? She was, very obviously under the influence and looked like she was going to explode from the nervous energy coursing through her, which could easily be mistaken for rage. The brunette woman would play that off should someone decide to come by. She would mutter and bitch about men and how you couldn't trust them. That would be believable enough.

Yeah... one of two things was going to happen after tonight. Major Anastasia S. DeVries and Lieutenant JG Xylia Lischka were going to spend some time in the brig, or they were going to hell. Perhaps a safer assessment.. both options were going to take place. On the bright side, she was going to be in good company, so that was a bonus.


[Arizona]

Re-materializing within the confines of the transporter room Stace issued the enlisted man a harsh glare as she stepped down from the pad - the Captain still draped over her shoulder - an unusual peaceful look upon his face.

"Not a word about this to anyone," Stace warned. "If anyone inquires we both came back on our own two feet - understood?"

The Petty Officer nodded quickly - his dark eyes the size of dinner plates. "Clear as crystal Major. Carry on."

"Oh I plan to," Stace grinned as she shifted the man's weight and made her way towards the door. She had a rendezvous to make and no time to waste.

Once in the corridor the Major began the hasty walk to where her deputy was to be waiting. While the hardest parts of their mission were now over the tricky parts were still to come. However, thanks to her position as both Chief of Security and command officer, she had extensive knowledge of where various crew tended to be during the night shift. Short of any unexpected 'strollers', they would be in the clear.

Rounding the next set of turns, Stace briefly wondered about the man she toted. As the case with most El-Aurians Nathan's professional background was a hot mess to say the least... but there was something within it that resonated with the woman. She wondered if he was an older reflection of herself.

"Sorry old man," she muttered out loud as she approached the final set of turns. "Believe me when I say this is for your own good. I promise it won't kill you."

Stace approached the last corner with caution - being careful not to cause a scene. Sure that they had not been compromised, she stepped fully out into the hall - finding her accomplice already waiting.

Xylia threw her arms in the air. "Where the hell have you been? I've been waiting here for... ever." She looks to the Captain slumped over her shoulder. "Did you club him over the head?"

"Close... I exchanged some favors with a local prostitute in order to score some rather powerful drugs... then I chose to sacrifice my precious bottle of whiskey to spike it and then made the old timer chug the whole thing," Stace explained. "Bottom line is... I got him. Did you get everything ready on this end?"

"It's ready to go. I hope you didn't kill the poor bastard." The brunette woman glanced down the hallway and gestured with her head. "Come on. Let's get this show on the road."

Shifting the Captain's weight once more, Stace quickly walked along side the other woman towards the holodeck door. Issuing the commands to the computer to allow them entrance, the doors swished open abruptly and the duo plus one made their way completely inside. "It's... everything I thought it would be," Stace admitted as her dreams were now displayed publicly for all to see. "However, it's without a doubt missing one last thing! Computer, initiate Helga-7D7-Alpha."

"Initiating holographic entity now," the computer chirped pleasantly.

There was only a brief moment of silence before the visage of Helga appeared in view. The extremely tall busty blonde was just what the Viking doctor ordered. Her stature was enough to cripple small kittens. "Anastasia!" Helga sang in her operatic voice. "What is the meaning of this?!"

"Well..." Stace began as she crossed the room, "this is us concocting some dirty work that I need you to finish while we both get the hell out of dodge!"

Taking a second to look around, Helga's brows raised in surprise. "It seems you have been busy!"

"Yes, yes," Stace rushed as she placed a palm against her forehead. "Look... I need you to make the Captain... comfortable. Nothing that leaves marks! Just make sure he has a good time. Can you handle it?"

Helga chuckled - a robust thunderous laugh. "Of course I can!" She then turned her attention to the brunette. "I hope you know what you've gotten yourself into!"

Xylia burst into a fit of giggles and helped Stace lay the Captain out on the crushed red velvet bed. "It's in Helga's hands now. Let's get the hell out of here before he wakes up!"

Stace sure the hell didn't need to be told twice. Issuing a wave of the hand at Helga she blew a quick kiss to the Captain before fleeing down the hall - her accomplice at her side - Batman and Robin.